5 Things to Stop Doing If You Have a Picky Eater (and What to Do Instead
Picky eating can feel exhausting. You spend time preparing meals, hoping your child will try something new, only to face refusal, meltdowns, or frustration at the table. It’s normal to feel worried—after all, you just want your child to eat a balanced diet and grow strong and healthy.
But did you know that some common mealtime strategies can actually make picky eating worse? Many of these habits come from good intentions, but they can unintentionally increase stress, anxiety, or resistance to food.
Let’s talk about 5 things I often see parents doing that may be backfiring—and what you can do instead!
1. Pressuring Your Child to Eat
💬 “Just one more bite!”
💬 “You have to finish your plate before you leave the table.”
💬 “If you don’t eat your dinner, you won’t get dessert!”
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone! Many parents use these tactics to encourage eating. However, pressure often backfires. When a child feels forced to eat, they may become more resistant, anxious, or even develop negative associations with food and mealtime.
Instead:
Create a calm, pressure-free eating environment.
Offer food and let your child decide how much to eat.
Trust their natural hunger cues—forcing bites won’t improve long-term eating habits.
Goal: Mealtimes should feel safe, not stressful. When children feel in control, they’re more likely to explore new foods at their own pace.
2. Using Food as a Reward or Punishment
💬 “If you eat your broccoli, you can have ice cream.”
💬 “No veggies, no dessert!”
Using food as a bargaining tool teaches kids that some foods are “bad” (veggies) and some are “good” (dessert). This can create an unhealthy relationship with food where they only eat healthy foods for a reward, rather than because they enjoy them.
Instead:
Treat all foods neutrally—no food is “bad” or “good.”
Serve a variety of foods together rather than making dessert feel like a prize.
Let kids see YOU enjoying healthy foods instead of bribing them to eat.
Goal: Kids should learn to enjoy food for what it is, not because they get a reward for eating it.
3. Making Separate Meals for Your Child
💬 “She won’t eat what we’re having, so I’ll just make her chicken nuggets again.”
It’s tempting to prepare a “safe” meal for a picky eater to avoid the struggle, but constantly catering to their preferences actually reinforces picky eating. If they always get what they like, they have no reason to try anything new.
Instead:
Make one family meal that includes at least one food your child already likes.
Allow them to see, touch, and explore new foods without forcing them to eat.
Normalize variety—exposure over time helps children feel more comfortable with new foods.
Goal: Kids should feel safe but gently challenged at mealtimes. Over time, regular exposure reduces picky eating tendencies.
4. Hiding or Sneaking Foods
💬 “He won’t eat veggies, so I just blend them into his pasta sauce.”
💬 “I mix cauliflower into mashed potatoes so he won’t notice.”
While sneaking in nutrition seems like a smart hack, it can break trust when kids realize they’ve been tricked. This can make them more suspicious of new foods and less willing to try things voluntarily.
Instead:
Be honest about what’s in their food!
Involve them in cooking and meal prep to help them feel more in control.
Talk about why different foods help our bodies in a way that makes sense for their age.
Goal: Kids should feel safe exploring new foods rather than fearing hidden ingredients.
5. Commenting on How Much (or Little) They Eat
💬 “Wow! You ate so much today!”
💬 “You barely touched your food!”
While it may seem harmless, commenting on how much a child eats can make mealtime feel like a performance rather than a natural experience. Some kids may start eating for praise instead of hunger, while others may feel pressured and eat even less.
Instead:
Keep conversations neutral—don’t praise or criticize their eating.
Focus on fun, engaging mealtime conversations instead of food.
Model healthy eating habits without calling attention to it.
Goal: Eating should feel natural, relaxed, and enjoyable—not like something they’re being evaluated on.
Small Shifts = Big Changes!
If your child is a picky eater, you are NOT alone! But instead of fighting them at meals, try shifting your approach. These small changes can make a huge difference in reducing mealtime battles and helping your child feel safe and open to trying new foods.
Are you looking for support with your child’s picky eating? I offer free consultations to help you understand the next steps. Reach out today to get started!
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